I HAVE NO MONEY!

Sorry it's been a while guys. We have no Internet right now...not really even a phone that isn't charging mom up the ass in roaming charges so...contact is a bit sketchy. Hope people don't lose interest just cause I'm not posting as often.

So I've MOVED! Franklin is beautiful. The people are comfortably hickish but when you look around hard enough, they are a good enough number of sanegoers. Like the people around me at the moment, for instance. I'm in a place called Brainstorm which is a game place. Right now there's a bunch of gamers playing Halo. Pretty awesome place.

Anyways into the deeper aspects. Right now, it's fun and it's hard. Its hardest when I'm alone, I've found. Last night was the first night that I was alone in my own place. I didn't handle it very well, to be frank. I ended up going to Shoneys where Robbie works and just sitting at a table and hanging out with him. I was on the verge of tears the whole night and finally went home and fell asleep to a movie. This morning I woke up fine and then suddenly...in the middle of some early morning cuddling with Robbie, I got sad and scared again. We talked and it made me feel better...but I'm still sad.

I was scared at the idea that I'll never be able to have that life again. In most ways, I won't. I can't just hang out and have no responsibility anymore. I can't live in the big bright room I was in or anything like that. It will never be quite the same...and I'm having to get used to that. And it's hard. But I was reassured that I can go back. I can live near there again...I can always go back and hang out with the same people again...I can move back in the area if I need to...I can be close the farm. Which is comforting. Cause I miss the hell out of home.

Most of my sadness is just getting used to this place. When I was at home I always noticed that when there was something going on, family over, friends over or anything like that...I got sad when everyone left...when all the excitement was over. And it took a day or two to get back in the groove of life. It was hard to see mom and Cynthia and Ella go after all the fun we had. And it's hard to get used to life without that excitement. But it will be fine. And I really think I'll start to feel better when everything starts becoming regular.

So that's a quick update. I'm a little preoccupied so excuse me if it isn't quite as eloquent or regular. I'm hoping I'll have Internet at home soon. And in that case, I'll start writing every day.

Email me if you want to contact me. Just give me a few days to get it.

Love you all.

Kate