What Hunting Season Is It? Jobs.

So we've decided I'm going to get a job. I finally feel ready for it. I've collected applications...filled out a few...turned one in...but for the most part I've just been ignoring them. Haven't quite felt up to it yet. But today...I found myself finally ready. Which is weird...because when I had a discussion with Robbie about it a few days ago it was made clear that this thing that I'm waiting for...this feeling of being ready to do something...isn't going to come. That I just have to start making small steps whether or not I want to. I ignored that too. But today...it did come. I feel motivated to fill out all of my applications and turn them all in by the next couple days. Doesn't mean I'll get a job but...at least I'll have tried. I don't know what that means, really. I don't know if it means I was on the right path with my whole "just wait until I feel it" thing...or if it's really just bullshit and I do just need to start taking the steps I need to take even when I don't want to.

Basically what I've decided to do is this: I'm going to get a part time job that I get a decent amount of money from...one that can easily be thrown away (unless of course I love it but in that case, I'm sure I'll just work out a way to do what I want anyways) so that I can work until the holidays, earn up some money to save...and then either quit if I don't like it, or if they adore me and want me back, take a break. (I doubt I'll be so lucky again but...you never know...maybe I am really just that charming). Whatever the case, I plan to take the holidays off. Not sure exactly how to go about it yet...whether I'll want to just take off Thanksgiving and then go back to Franklin and then come back for Christmas...or maybe just find a way to hang out back at home for the holidays for a while between the two. Whatever the case, I've decided that for this year at least...it's incredibly important to me to have those two holidays and that if I'm going to be all "I do what I want!" about my life I might as well take a stand for myself and decide right here and now that I'm going to give myself what I really want. What's the worst that could happen? End a job...start a new one.

The rest of the time I'm going to spend with MPP volunteering and learning childcare skills so that eventually I'll feel secure enough and know enough about taking care of kids...that I'll be able to start babysitting and whatnot. And maybe I'll make enough money from that that I won't need the part time job! So...we'll see. Hopefull, I know but...what else do I have?

So that's the plan. It will most likely change as all my plans do. For it's good to start with a plan anyways.

That's about it for now. I'm having a fun day...finding and downloading cool music...cleaning...watching TV...writing. It's a good life. I feel good today.

So more later when I have something insightful to say.

Loving to all

-Kate