Never mind the title...listening to a Duhks song right now and just wrote what I was singing at the moment. lol. *high five to Hannah* (I miss singing with you, Han!)
I'm a little giddy...lol...odd since my last post was so sad and mopey.
My moods really fluctuate with the lighting of this apartment. It's a really bright day today...very beautiful...and the light is just pouring into the apartment and making me so happy. I'm so satisfied that I don't even want to watch TV. I just want to listen to music and write...about nothing...because I can.
I've always had that issue with lighting and how it effects my mood. Mom's house is totally filled with light...windows everywhere. It was rare that I was unhappy during the day. But then at night...the wooden walls would give off this yellow light when you turned the lights on...and it always bugged me. I need white walls and big windows...that's when I'm happiest. I don't know why it has such an effect on me...but if it's a dark day...or if I'm in a dark room...I feel gloomy. And this apartment is the epitome of darkness. If I come home and it's starting to get dark out, I have this panicked feeling until I go around and turn all the lights on. You can imagine what this odd obsession does to our power bill! lol. Lights on all the time or I go crazy...it's not great.
But today it's bright and sunny...and Robbie and I went out to lunch at Monte Pythons...or Albans...the Mexican restaurant near us. It's one of our favorite things to do because we feel like we're really spending quality time with each other. Oddly enough we don't sit down and just hang out with each other very often...mainly because there's nowhere to sit...no table to eat at or anything...but also because usually when we're home together...we're watching TV or online or something similar. I think it just has to do with the way our life is set up. I have the TV on most of the time in general because it's a distraction from the fact that I'm alone and bored and in a dark apartment and missing my family and friends...and even if I'm not watching it the noise comforts me to some degree...as if the TV is like another living person in the room with me that is REALLY impressed with Kentucky Fried Chicken and is DYING to sell me a car and some devices to make my life easier in between acting out hospital drama's and getting caught in hysterical plot twists that are just so true. I should really name him.
To be honest our lifestyle just doesn't provide much time for quality entertainment. Besides the fact that we don't really have the time and/or money to go bowling or see a play or take trips to touristy places around here...we just kind of get stuck in our habits....sleeping in late...staying up late...laying around and watching movies and TV and playing computer games. I'd be all for playing board games and taking walks and going bowling and going dancing and playing music together...but it just feels too hard. There's nobody to play board games with...and nowhere to play them. There aren't any relaxing places to take walks. We don't have the money to go bowling or dancing and we don't have the instruments to play them. But I feel like going back home would really help things. A nicer apartment...bigger and more welcoming to guests. Both of us having steady jobs with similar schedules that allow us to be out and home together. And the easiness of just being able to drive out to the farm...take long peaceful walks...and play board games with mom and Jack and have parties with Cynthia and Kenny and all that jazz.
I'm really aching to get home. But that isn't to say that I won't miss it here. The mountains are really beautiful...I love how everywhere we go, Robert points out a mountain range and says "wow...that's really beautiful". And there are things I love about this apartment...and about our life. I don't regret at all being here and experiencing life away from home. But I do miss Durham and Potluck and everything that goes along with it all.
But I think we're going to be here for a while more. Comfort Inn is hiring for front desk so I'm crossing my fingers for that. And today I filled out a bunch more applications to hand back out tomorrow. Hopefully I'll find something soon and then we can start saving our butts off to move. I'm thinking we'll probably get back out there in the middle of Spring to check things out and see if we can find anywhere to move to. That's what I'm hoping at least. But we might try to visit Florida before then so Robbie can visit his daughter Sarah. Lots to save for...
Anyways I'm done rambling for now. Love and miss you all.
Love is in the sun
Kate
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2 comments:
Hi Sweet Bug!!
I miss you too! I love reading your posts. Let me know if you really want to move back before spring - I can help you out if you need it.
Today was so beautiful here. It was fun to watch all the animals having a blast in the snow. Riley was a total fool, rushing all over the yard with a flower pot. Mojo ran all over the pasture too - it was beautiful to see a graceful black horse frolicking against the backdrop of the soft white snow. Maybe snow in Franklin will help brighten things a bit.
Love and miss you,
Momma
hey kate!
i agree, good lighting in a room can definitely lift a mood way up! i tend to spend more time in the living room here at my grandparents place because there is a large picture window that i can watch the snow fall through on one side of the room and the other has high windows letting the late afternoon sun in so it stays light in here for as much of the day is possible! it is definitely a pick-me-up to be in a bright room even if you're not doing so much. :)
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