And The Winner Is...

A lot has changed since I last wrote. It's odd how a few weeks can go by and nothing happens...but then all of a sudden EVERYTHING happens.

I guess the change happened because suddenly the way things were going finally peaked it's frustrated head around the corner and blew up in our faces. We ended up getting into a big fight...resulting in me sitting in the shower for 40 minutes wondering why I was here and making plans to just pack up and go home. This isn't unusual for us. One minute we're laughing and living our regular lives, joking and smiling for no particular reason...the next we're arguing and crying and nothing in the world is right. It seems like every time Robbie and I get into a fight...it feels like rock bottom...it feels so bad...and so horrible...that it would be enough to end it all. It's big and harsh and scary for both of us...and every single time we find ourselves here...I'm constantly surprised as to how we climb out of it. A fight never lasts more than a day with us...it seems to just knock us down into this big ugly pit out of the blue...and then we claw our ways out within a few hours. But when it's all said in done...everything feels different. Everything is...older...and more complete...and easier. It's really an amazing process. Perhaps a bit odd but...it seems to work for us.

This particular fight made it clear to both of us how much we needed a change...and how much we needed TO change. Our time in Franklin seems to have been well-spent. I figured out what I came here to figure out and learned what I wanted to learn...but now we've kind of reached this stage where we're done here...but we haven't figured out how to move on. We both seem to be just sitting and waiting for god knows what. I'm finding more and more that I need to be close to home...close to the people I love and the things I know. And he's finding more and more that he needs to be in a place where he can be inspired. And Franklin just isn't it. We've found nobody here that we want to be friends with...no jobs here that work for us in return...and no sense of living how we want to live. We both think Durham is our answer. Available jobs, friends, and an easy ride to the farm whenever we want.

So...we'd like to get out of here as soon as possible. I'd like to say we could get out of here by the end of the month...but since that's so soon...we don't know. But our apartment arrangement is flexible and the rest is quick and easy. We can leave whenever we're ready.

So...we're coming home! I'm very excited. And everything seems to be working out perfectly. Our relationship is stronger than ever...things seems to be working out for us...and now against all odds...we're going to finally be where we want to be. I'm not sure if I'll write the same way there as I do now...besides the fact that you'll all be in contact with me on a regular basis anyways...things will also be busier. But I'll try.

Anyways enough for now...I'll write again later tonight when we win the lottery. ;)

Love is finding it's way...

Kate